Why Millennials Suck: How The Selfish “Me” Generation Was Created

Why Millennials suck. Well, they are like no other generation that has come before. Take heart, it isn’t your fault you’re spoiled brats, we spoiled you!

I know, let the hate mail begin. I’m about to talk about why millennials suck. I am from the previous generation, Generation X, so what right do I have to put judgment on the Millennial generation? I don’t. What I do see, however, is that however unmotivated and lost our generation was in our twenties, we were far ahead of where the spoiled Millennial generation is now.

Why do I call Millennials spoiled? ‘Cause they are. They received trophies for nothing more than showing up for practice, praised for everything they’ve ever done, and told that if someone doesn’t agree with you, it is tantamount to bullying.

Millennials have also never had to work for anything, I mean it was even their parent’s fault when they didn’t get their homework done. How do I know all of this? I am the proud parent of a Millennial, but, of course, my child is perfect and not like that.

35 reasons why Millennials suck

I really can’t blame the self-entitlement that Millennials feel, it isn’t their fault. It is Generation X who felt so emotionally beaten up and bruised, we decided our children wouldn’t ever have to feel bad or have their feelings hurt.

I also blame the internet. Being the first generation to grow up online, literally, Millennials are addicted to themselves, instant gratification, and things like “selfies.” If it doesn’t revolve around them, well, it doesn’t revolve at all.

#1 They think they are too good for anything manual or labor. We never made them do anything, like anything. We had maids clean up after them or did it ourselves while they played video games. [Read: 10 small changes to transform your world]

#2 They think pointing out a difference is a cutdown. If you point out the fact that women are the physically weaker sex, they think that is a cutdown. Sorry, guys, that is a reality, but we are stronger in other ways, so get over it! [Read: The opposite of feminist: A new generation of women?]

#3 They think the only way for things to be equal is to drag everyone else down. Equality isn’t about taking something away from someone to give to someone else. It is about working together to raise everyone else up. You don’t get that.

#4 They think anyone gives a shit about what they have for lunch *please save the food pics, we don’t care*. I really don’t care if what you are going to eat tastes good. Unless you cater my lunch, keep it to yourself!

#5 They whine about everything, wait, did I say everything? They whine about working, things not being fair, having to do anything. It is super annoying!

#6 There is no such thing as too tight or too promiscuous. Yep, we desensitized y’all. So much that you no longer see anything wrong with wearing tight clothes or even see-through ones.

#7 When they babysit they make a bigger mess than the kids. They feel no responsibility to go the little extra mile, or even to complete the mile they promised to do.

#8 They take no responsibility for anything. Nothing is ever a Millennial’s fault, like nothing ever!

#9 They think competition is unfair. Competition is a bad word to a Millennial. Things should all be even. If you get ahead, they think you do so at someone else’s expense. That isn’t reality. People get ahead because they work hard, not because they cheat—at least most of the time!

#10 They can’t decide which selfie they like best of themselves. I never once took a picture of myself, just for the record, none of us did! [Read: How to take a good selfie and look cute]

#11 They think it is their parent’s job to clean up after them forever. You are almost thirty, pay your own damn cell phone bill, will you?

#12 Their parents clean up after them for like, ever. Maybe we should stop paying their cell phone bills!

#13 They have a label, catch phrase, or diagnosis for everything. Ghosting, cushioning, hotwifing, Chad Thundercock… please people, does it ever end?

#14 They have the attention span of a flea. If it isn’t flashing, ringing, or shouting, they can’t be bothered with it.

#15 If you say anything they don’t like they either picket, riot, or cry that their civil liberties have been compromised. Look at any college campus. I need not say anything more.

#16 They pretend as if they even know what civil liberties are. Civil liberties don’t mean that you get to do whatever you want and no one has the right to say no to you… sorry!

#17 They talk about politics as if they have a clue, but couldn’t really give a shit. They just want something to put on their Facebook page. If you talk about politics, at least know what the truth is and read a damn history book.

#18 They spend more time on their phone than with their parents, grandparents, friends, and significant others combined. Put the cell phone down just once in a while. There is an entire world going on around you. [Read: 13 ways to wean yourself off social media]

#19 They always have a get rich quick scheme, but it rarely involves any true work. You must earn money. It might have landed in your lap in the past, but unfortunately, at some point, that has to end.

#20 They behave like spoiled brats having a tantrum if you don’t agree with them. Stop stamping your feet. Having a temper tantrum to shut people up doesn’t make you right, it just makes people uncomfortable.

#21 They spend more time creating a fake world on social media than living in the real one. Worry less about your social media likes and more about whether people like you or not.

#22 They do and say the meanest shit on social media forums, but then talk about anti-bullying. Have you read what you have tweeted, put on Facebook, or did on Snapchat? Bullying to a whole new level. [Read: How to be classy – 20 traits that command awe and respect]

#23 They have no ambition or inspiration for the future, too busy worrying about Kim Kardashian. Who the hell cares about what the Kardashians are doing? How does that affect you?

#24 Their role models are porn stars and rappers who beat their wives. Role models are supposed to be people that you admire, not the people who get the most attention by doing bad things.

#25 They think America sucks… hey, try it somewhere else. Really, go live abroad for a while, I dare you.

#26 They think the older generations have no idea what the hell they talked about as if it weren’t for them, the world would fall to idiocy. You might think you are the smartest generation ever to inherit the world, but that is only because we told you that since you were born. Our bad. [Read: Why Millennials choose puppies over babies]

#27 They refuse to hear anyone else’s opinion and have no problem coercing anyone who isn’t on board. You can’t shout everyone down forever.

#28 They get their news from sites like Us Magazine or Yahoo. Just so you know, that isn’t really news. News is about world events, not a popularity contest.

#29 They can’t ever spell out a damn word, they abbreviate everything… too much work for them. Use real words before none of us can communicate anymore, please?

#30 Everywhere they go, they just drop their shit and make a mess. Apparently, they have maids following them. Clean up after something, like something… please.

#31 If you ask them for something it is always a huge inconvenience. Asking you to chip in and help isn’t an inconvenience. It is the way society works and survives. What are you going to do when the older generations aren’t around to do all your work for you and pay your bills?

#32 They think that I care about their status. We don’t unless we ask.

#33 They came up with Snapchat… can we have a chat about Snapchat? SnapChat was created for nothing but to send nasty messages to people that disappear, so you bear no responsibility. That is shitty in anyone’s book. A lovely creation of the Millennial generation. Thanks! [Read: SnapChat cheating: The new sneaky trend in the ultimate betrayal]

#34 They think everything they do is charming, like everything. We’ve told you you were awesome for so long you actually believe it 100%.

#35 The only one who exists in the world of a Millennial is “me.”

Now, I know that I upset a great number of Millennials with what I just said. The truth is every generation dumps on the one that comes next, it is pecking order. I am sure you will all end up as lovely adults and human beings.

I just pray, at some point, you put your damn phone down, pick up a hand to help out the rest of humanity, and stop thinking that you are the most important thing that ever walked the face of the earth.

[Read: 15 reasons why many people dislike you]

It is my generation’s fault for creating the monster, but it is now your problem to clean it up. Sorry, we are leaving you with such a big task, but that is why Millennials suck and we suck too!

The post Why Millennials Suck: How The Selfish “Me” Generation Was Created is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Give Someone Space Without Losing Them: Letting Fear Go

Set free the one you love. If they return, it was meant to be. Bullshit, isn’t it? There’s no guarantee for how to give someone space without losing them.

That old saying, “If you love someone set them free, and if it was meant to be, they will come back,” sucks. Not because it isn’t true, but because it sounds so damn easy. If you want to know how to give someone space without losing them, the answer is mind over manner. For those of us who have a harder time with the inner voices that create anxiety, it can be torture.

Rationally, what you already know, and I don’t have to tell you, is that you can’t control anyone’s actions but your own. But, sometimes that doesn’t help. Fear, especially in love, is one of the hardest things to overcome. The problem is if you don’t create space, and let them figure out what they want and need, your smothering leads to them pushing you away anyway.

How to give someone space without losing them *and without anxiety*

A vicious cycle, the more they push you away, the harder you cling. Until one day you chase them around the house, texting them desperately, or stalking their home. That isn’t the answer, and you know it.

I don’t have to tell you what you need to do. I will try to give you some comfort to follow through with what won’t come naturally and probably feels like your heart is breaking. Hold strong! You can do this, I believe in you.

#1 Stop texting. Texting is about the worst thing for any relationship. Unless it is for fun at first, quick messages, or sexting, texting can be a cancer in your relationship. There was a time when you couldn’t get to someone, and that is just the way it was.

Learning to cut the umbilical cord was easier without such easy access. If you want to give someone space, stop texting them, like all together. When they are ready, they reach out to you. Don’t try to insert yourself into their day, just let them have their space by going radio silent. [Read: 16 commonly accepted relationship tips that ruin your love life]

#2 Don’t ask questions all the time. If you feel as if they need space, then you probably feel like something is wrong, they pull away, or you know something is changing. You ask them a question a minute, but until they are ready to let you in, they aren’t going to answer you.

They might not even know what they want or how they feel. All the questions do is to make them shut down and shut you out, which is a self-fulfilling prophecy to what you don’t want. [Read: Why some people go looking for drama]

#3 Do your own thing. If someone either tells you they need space or you just feel it, then something is going on in your relationship. Instead of worrying about giving them space and losing them, take the time apart to focus on what you want out of your relationship. Do all the things you gave up since you started your relationship.

You just might find you likewise need some space and time to do your own thing. You may have lost yourself in clinging to your partner. Being too close and not having separate lives is a recipe to lose yourself.

#4 Stop asking for permission. If you worry about losing someone, then chances are good that you constantly wait on them before you make decisions for you. You don’t take any initiative to be your own person. In a relationship, you should want someone around, but not need them.

If you worry that you’ll lose someone if you give them space, then I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but you never had them to begin with. Insecurity is not a sign of love, it is a sign of unsure feelings. [Read: 10 obvious hints your partner will give if they want their space]

#5 Make decisions for yourself. Instead of worrying about losing someone else, make some decisions all on your own. One of the best feelings when you suddenly find yourself standing on your own two feet or having your own space is that you get to make decisions for yourself without worrying about repercussions or what the other person is going to think or say.

It is all you, baby! Decision-making is very powerful, and it might give you the courage to walk away and let them come crawling back.

#6 Find out what makes you happy. If you worry about losing them, then you aren’t thinking about yourself, you think about all you are going to lose when they are gone. A significant other should be an extension of yourself, not a substitute.

Stop worrying about what happens if you let them go. Start thinking of all the potential things you do to find happiness all by yourself. [Read: You-complete-me relationships and why you need your space]

#7 Recognize you can’t control their decisions. If you truly want to know how to give someone space without losing them, you have to let go. You don’t have a choice in the matter. You can’t hold onto someone who doesn’t want to be held onto. If you look at it as a decision, then you put a lot of the onus on you and blame yourself for giving up.

You aren’t giving up, and you don’t have a choice. You can’t make someone stay. Giving them space isn’t what you are doing, let them decide for themselves what they need while you find what you need. The answer might surprise you.

#8 If they choose not to come back it will hurt, yes, but you will survive. A broken heart hasn’t killed anyone. Well, unless you read about those old couples who die days apart. But, you aren’t 90, and you haven’t lived a lifetime together.

Yes, it hurts like hell. In fact, it might be the hardest thing you ever experience. But, whatever happens, the sun shines again, and you will find your new normal with someone who acts and behaves as if they want to be with you, not like they need space. [Read: How to stop obsessing over someone]

#9 If they don’t come back, as hard as it is to see, they do you a favor. I am going to say it because you can’t reach into this screen and wring my neck, “Everything happens for a reason.” The truth is that if you don’t give them space now, it eventually happens the way that it is supposed to. They make their decision whether you back off and give them space or not.

And, God forbid, you let it go on until you end up old, angry, and hurt beyond repair. If it isn’t right and they know it, they do you both a favor by letting you know now instead of being a coward and not cutting the cord.

#10 Is this the way that you want the relationship to be? Limbo is hell, not the kind where you are bending under the stick, although wait… that is hell too. Do you want to be in a relationship with someone where you don’t know if they want you, they seem irritated with you, and you generally just know that something isn’t right?

The person you are with should love you unconditionally, treat you like they are happy to have you, and cherish every moment with you because life is too short.

Okay, times aren’t always going to be good. If you think they need space, then either they tell you something is wrong, or you know it in your own heart. Either way, you deserve to feel loved and appreciated, not anxiety ridden and confused. [Read: 18 emotions you should never feel in a healthy relationship]

#11 Immerse yourself into something. The best medicine for a broken heart is distraction. Find a new hobby, get a puppy *okay, maybe not really*, or join a social club.

If you sit around thinking about them all day, then it isn’t going to do anything but let the anxiety churn and predispose you to pick up your phone to make contact. Giving them space means no contact. So, find something else to tear your mind away, if only for now.

#12 Reconnect with friends. When it comes to knowing how to give someone space without losing them, friends are the best distraction ever. Just don’t pick the misery-loves-company group. No, misery doesn’t love sitting around crying and rehashing. Misery loves Vegas with friends and being in your element by not letting it break you.

#13 Make it clear you’re giving them space. Be sure to tell your partner that you feel they need space and that this is what you are doing. If you don’t make it clear that you back off for a reason, then they might misinterpret your cooling off and think it is something you want.

Giving them space is only good if you let them know that they have it, not that you are pissed. They should leave for now knowing where you are at and where they are at with you, not that you are cold and aloof for no reason. [Read: Does absence make the heart grow fonder or wander?]

#14 Turn off your social media for a bit. There are days when I am convinced that social media is going to destroy the world. It is so anxiety provoking. It is a wonder that we aren’t all walking around like crazy people. If you want to know how not to worry about losing someone, it is about getting off of social media and stop creating scenarios in your mind.

You’ll be looking for signs everywhere of what they are doing, what they are thinking, and whether they are going to choose you or not. You don’t need the additional anxiety of seeing other girls or guys liking or following the one you set free. [Read: 13 ways to wean yourself off of social media]

#15 Leave your phone behind. Back in the day, when we let each other have space, we left the house. We didn’t sit and wait for the phone to ring. Now, you just take the anxiety and carry it in your pocket.

If you want to give them space and not worry about it, then leave your cell phone behind. The constant reminder it isn’t ringing or you aren’t getting a message from them isn’t doing your brain any good. Leave it at home.

[Read: How to give space in a relationship without drifting apart]

When it comes to knowing how to give someone space without losing them, whether they asked for room to breathe in the relationship, or you just feel it, the key is to move on with your own life. Explore what makes you happy, and if they are destined to be with you, they will come back. 

The post How to Give Someone Space Without Losing Them: Letting Fear Go is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Get a Girl to Text Back Without Being Overly Annoying

Knowing how to get a girl to text back without annoying the crap out of her isn’t exactly common knowledge. Here’s how to strike up a conversation.

Girls are a little picky. If you don’t make your conversation seem urgent or interesting, she’ll probably pass on texting you back. You may even annoy her to the point where she doesn’t want to text you back at all. Learning how to get a girl to text back is more about making her interested in you than anything else.

If she likes you, she’ll be bound to text back. But it’s not exactly that easy. Women are fairly complicated when it comes to texting. We take it really seriously. This can be bad for you if you think a simple, “hey,” will be enough to get her to text back.

Women want effort from men

In order to figure out how to get a girl to text you back, you have to be willing to put forth the effort. She won’t want to start anything with you if you won’t even try to get her attention over a text.

The way a guy treats a woman when she’s not around says a lot more about how he’d treat her in a relationship than anything else. Do you prioritize her? Do you make her feel cared for? It’s all about putting in an effort and showing her that you want to work for her. [Read: 20 ways to make your girlfriend incredibly happy]

How to get a girl to text you back without hounding her about it

In order to figure out how to get a girl to text you back, you’ll need some help. It’s probably a lot more complicated than you ever though but don’t worry, we’re here to help.

#1 Don’t send too many. Sending text after text after text will do nothing good for you. In fact, it’ll make things a lot worse. No girl wants to be bothered over and over again. And if she’s busy, you’ll look even worse.

Getting her phone with a bunch of messages for you won’t do anyone any good. You’ll look really clingy and it’ll overwhelm her. Don’t send more than two unanswered texts and just to play it safe, avoid sending more than one if you can. [Read: Double texting and second texts – 6 important rules to play it cool]

#2 Wait for her to text you. If you really want to know how to get a girl to text you back, just wait for her to text you. That’s assuming she has your number, however. When she texts you first, it just shows how much she wants to talk to you.

You can even push her to text you a little by tagging her in something funny on social media. This way, she’ll text you about it and you won’t even have to do a thing to get her to text back. She’ll want to.

#3 Avoid being unoriginal. By that, I mean don’t just text her a, “hey, what’s up?” or anything like it. It doesn’t give her incentive to text you back. And if she’s busy, she definitely won’t respond to a simple, “hey.”

Give her something more to work with. Be unique but don’t just drop a corny pickup line, either. [Read: How to start a text conversation with a girl and leave her impressed]

#4 Prompt her to answer with a question. If you want a girl to text you back, give her a reason to. Asking a question will really make her think about it and you’ll increase your odds of her texting back by a lot.

Don’t make it a dumb question though. The best thing you could do is to ask about something you talked about previously. For example, if you were talking about a band, pretend you don’t remember what it was and text her to clarify. She’s bound to answer. [Read: 6 subtle flirty questions you can ask your crush]

#5 Make her laugh. Girls respond to people who make them laugh. She’ll associate you with happiness if you make her smile and laugh a lot. And when a girl credits you with her happiness, she’ll want to talk to you.

So tell her a joke. Bonus points if you tell her a joke that begins with a question. Even if she knows it’s a set up for a joke, she’ll be curious enough to text you back to hear what it is.

#6 Mention something of interest to her. In order to get her attention, you have to make her care. You can easily do that by talking about something she’s interested in. This can be anything from a hobby of hers to a band you know she likes. Talking about something she cares about will engage her and get her to respond and it doesn’t make you seem annoying at all. [Read: How to keep a girl interested in 13 exciting ways]

#7 Talk about something fun you’re doing. Girls want to be included. If you’re having fun, she’ll want to be a part of that fun. So tell her about the fun you’re currently having. You’ll earn even more points if you mention how you wish she was there to enjoy what you currently are. It’ll make her curious and it’ll flatter her at the same time. Bonus!

#8 Avoid taking forever to text her back. If you’re trying to play hard to get, doing it via texting isn’t going to bode well for you. Girls really don’t like when guys take forever to text back. In most cases, they’ll want to make you wait just as long and sometimes, they’ll even refuse to text you back altogether. [Read: 12 reasons ignoring a girl won’t work]

#9 Don’t text her when you’re already busy. If you’re in the middle of a really busy day and you know you won’t be able to respond when you can, don’t text her. It’s not worth it to only give her a fraction of your attention. She’ll figure it out and she’ll be really irritated by it. Which means she won’t text you back.

#10 Show her your personality. Just be yourself. Show her your true colors. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not just to get her to text back. Just hold back if being your true self means sending a bunch of texts in a row. Be yourself and make a connection with her and she’ll text you back. [Read: 14 steps to love being you and unleash your true self]

#11 Talk about how good it was to see her last time. If the last time you saw her went well for you, tell her. It’s okay to express your feelings in this way. A simple text like, “Hey! Seeing you last night was great. Hope to do it again sometime,” will help you get that text back easily. [Read: 18 casual things to text a girl and leave her addicted to you]

#12 Stop while you’re ahead. This might sound contradictory but I promise it works great. If she does text you back and you have a great conversation going, stop while you’re ahead. Tell her you need to go but had fun talking to her.

This makes her crave conversation with you. If it went really well, she’ll want to talk to you again, which makes it a hell of a lot easier for you get her to text you back the next time.

 [Read: How to text a girl you like and make her want you]

Knowing how to get a girl to text back is all about knowing what she likes. In order to avoid being annoying and risk scaring her off, follow the above tips.

The post How to Get a Girl to Text Back Without Being Overly Annoying is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Have Sex Appeal: Secrets to Unleash Your Inner Sexy Beast

You may be wondering how to have sex appeal. Well, you don’t have to look like Angelina Jolie to have sex appeal and get all the men you want.

What is sex appeal—but really, what is it? Sex appeal is the ability to attract someone sexually or make them desire you sexually. In other words, making them want to f*ck you. Understanding how to have sex appeal is largely misunderstood.

Now, many people get this mixed up with having gaping cleavage or huge pouty lips. Which, is sexy to some people but it’s not the foundation for having sex appeal.

How to have sex appeal

Let’s use me as an example. I have no tits, like literally, it’s all just nipple. I have a bit of a tummy due to my love of food, and I like to sit with my legs open—ventilation purposes. With that image in your mind, you probably assume that my sex life isn’t highly active. But that’s where you’re wrong.

For some reason, men find me sexy. I smile a lot, so that has something to do with it. Plus, I love flirting. So, you see, it’s not all about the looks. There are ways to go about having sex appeal without looking like a plastic doll. You already have it in you.

#1 It all starts with confidence. Sex appeal is really based on your self-confidence. You can have all the makeup on, the most expensive shoes, but if you don’t feel good about yourself, then all those things mean nothing. Sex appeal starts from within.

You need to work on appreciating yourself and learning how to love yourself. So, before you even take up the art of flirting or body language, you need to work on your self-confidence. [Read: 6 reasons to love yourself first]

#2 Be yourself. You need to be yourself. If you’re not yourself, then your sex appeal will be non-existence. How can you have sex appeal when you try to be someone you’re not? Your energy will be invested into trying to make an act rather than working on your sex appeal. Why make life any harder? Just be yourself and your sex appeal will show more naturally.

#3 Laugh. People love to be around those who enjoy life. If you laugh and have a good time, you show sex appeal to others. See, it’s not necessarily dressing sexy, it’s about the energy you give to others. So, laugh! It’s sexy. Plus, it makes you feel good which is the most important thing. [Read: 8 unladylike like things that most men love about women]

#4 Be an active listener. Having sex appeal comprises of many things. Yes, you want to smile, be a conversationalist, flirt, but you also want to listen. This is what many people seem to forget, they forget to listen.

Most of us already figure out what we’ll say next. Don’t be that person, be an active listener. You’ll be surprised how much people notice and appreciate those who genuinely listen to them.

#5 It’s all in the eyes. Eye contact is very important when it comes to sex appeal. If you want to attract someone, you’re going to have to use your eyes. You don’t have to go all creepy on the person you’re interested in. Take it down a notch.

But if you want to show your sex appeal, your eyes are a great weapon. If you see someone across the room, give them eye contact that’s slightly prolonged. It’ll show them that you’re interested in them. However, you make them come to you. [Read: 10 subtle eye contact flirting moves that always work]

#6 Flirt. Everyone loves flirting! This is your chance to flirt your way to sex appeal. Flirting is all about building sexual tension between you and the other person. So, if you want to make someone interested in you, sexually, you need to flirt.

It’s the basic and standard procedure that works every time. Seriously, flirting is the best way to increase someone’s sexual attraction to you. [Read: 30 subtle, obvious and really sexy flirting tips for the girls]

#7 Use your body language. Most communication between people is non-verbal, which means it’s all about using your body. Use your hands, eyes, neck, lips and hair. Your body is at your disposal. By licking your lips, you show someone you’re sexually interested in them. By exposing your neck, you heighten someone’s arousal. You can use all these features to make someone attracted you.

#8 Take care of your temple. When I mean temple, I mean your body. Your body’s a temple and without it, well, obviously you wouldn’t be here. If you want to work on your sex appeal, you need to make sure that your body feels good. This isn’t about losing weight, this is about feeling good.

You don’t need to go on a diet, but if you eat healthy, you’ll feel good. You notice the difference throughout your body. Treat your body as something sacred because it is! [Read: How to look hot – 18 ways to go from wallflower to flawless]

#9 Don’t chase people. When it comes to knowing how to have sex appeal, you don’t need to chase anyone, regardless if you’re trying to improve your sex appeal or not. You can be open but you don’t have to chase people for attention.

People who exude sex appeal do not chase anyone. They allow themselves to be open and friendly, however, they know that they don’t need to chase people for attention. If you’re confident, people will naturally be attracted to you.

#10 Don’t be afraid to talk. If you’re not into talking, then that’s fine. However, if you refrain from speaking because you read in some magazine that people are attracted to mysterious ones, well, then just stop. I mean, really, come on.

Having sex appeal isn’t about you nodding to everything this person says or agreeing even when they’re wrong. To have sex appeal, doesn’t mean you lessen yourself, it’s about being confident. [Read: How to stop being insecure: 15 steps to transform your life]

#11 Know when to leave the conversation. Sure, you can be doing everything right. You’re confident, you look and feel sexy, you smile, you laugh, you have great conversation. It’s all going well. But you know, sex appeal doesn’t mean you’re all out there. If you want to attract someone, be yourself, but you can also leave the conversation, making them want you even more.

[Read: All the secrets to be really sexy and desirable all the time]

Now that you know how to have sex appeal, why not use it? It’s just sitting inside of you waiting to shine. 

The post How to Have Sex Appeal: Secrets to Unleash Your Inner Sexy Beast is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Know if He Loves You: 10 Giveaways to Prove His Feelings

Some guys aren’t very expressive with their love. If that’s the case with your man, you’re probably wondering how to know if he loves you. Here’s how.

Not knowing whether or not your partner loves you is a little frustrating. It can also make it really difficult for you to gauge where your relationship is at romantically. Luckily, there are ways to learn how to know if he loves you or not. And truthfully, it’ll be pretty easy to tell.

Guys are more about actions than they are about words. While you may be the one to voice how much you care about him, he’d rather just do things that prove his feelings for you are there. I know how frustrating this can be – especially if you’re not good at reading the signs.

Why you should always know how the other person feels

The first few months of a new relationship are always a little rocky just because you have no idea where you stand with the other person. Do they want to be with you for the long run or is it just a fling for them?

Unless you straight up ask them, it’ll be really hard to tell. And even then, some guys get scared off when you try to determine the relationship too early. But it’s essential to know how you feel about each other. Knowing how they feel eliminates confusion and insecurities. Both of those can ruin a great thing if they’re not taken care of. [Read: 30 facts about guys that can help you read his mind]

How to know if he loves you by the things he does every day

Like I said before, men are actionable. They show you how they feel rather than tell you. But in order to know if he loves you, you’ll have to start learning how to read the things he does for you. Here are all the things a man will do if he’s truly in love with you.

#1 He supports your goals. This is probably the biggest indicator that he loves you other than him actually telling you. Your goals in life are one of the most important things to you. A guy who supports those goals clearly cares about what makes you happy.

And that means if he’s doing anything that will help you reach those goals, he loves you. This could be verbal support or he may even go out of his way to buy you things that can help with it. [Read: 10 signs your partner is truly supportive of your goals]

#2 He’s affectionate. Anyone who’s affectionate toward you cares about you. However, you have to make note of the different types of affection. Some guys will only give you affection if it leads to sex.

But what about when you’re sick or on your period or can’t have sex with him? Does he still cuddle with you and kiss you randomly? If so, he loves you. Going out of his way to give you attention and affection is a huge sign of his feelings.

#3 You catch him staring at you. This doesn’t necessarily prove that he loves you on its own, but it does show how much he thinks about you. It just shows that he’s checking you out even if he’s not talking about it.

Some guys will be really quick to compliment you all the time because it usually makes you really happy – which often leads to fun in the bedroom. If your guy is checking you out without needing to talk about it, he loves you. [Read: 14 surefire signs your man thinks you’re attractive]

#4 He wants to be a part of your family. One of the best ways to tell how a guy feels about you is through his actions toward your family. Does he want to be involved with them? Does he attend your family functions even if it might be inconvenient for him to do so?

That selflessness when it comes to your family shows that he’s willing to be one of them. He wants to be a part of your family because he loves you.

#5 He makes an effort to be involved with your friends. This is another big sign that he has some real feelings for you. Your friends are really important to you. His involvement with them proves to you that he’s willing to make them important to him as well.

That level of commitment is a huge sign he loves you. It’s even better if he’s actively trying to form friendships with them as well. This also puts him on your friends’ good side, which can only help him win you over more. [Read: 25 signs he loves you even if he doesn’t say it]

#6 He gets involved with your hobbies. I’m not saying he has to drop his own hobbies and trade them out for yours. He doesn’t even have to do the things you. But if he’s actively involved in your hobbies by going to your volleyball games or taking an interest in the book you’re writing, he loves you.

He realizes that those things are vital to you. He knows you’ll be doing them for as long as you can. So getting involved is something he’ll do when he loves you because he wants to make sure you know he will be involved with that part of your life.

#7 He makes your date nights a priority. Too many relationships get damaged when couples get too comfortable and forget to actually nurture their relationship. Dates are important. Being intimate with each other and enjoying each other’s company alone is vital to a healthy relationship.

A man who takes that seriously is a man who wants to make it work with you. He’s a man who loves you. So if he’s making that a priority in your relationship, he definitely wants to be with you for a long time. [Read: 13 naughty date night ideas to spice things up]

#8 He wants your opinion on major decisions in his life. If there’s one thing you should pay the most attention to, it’s this. If a guy is asking for your thoughts and opinions when it comes to his career and other major life choices, it’s because he sees you in his life when he’s living out those choices.

He values your opinion and wants your help. This isn’t something a man does if he doesn’t love you.

#9 He tries to be with you often. AKA, he totally acts like he misses you. This is especially true if he’s been away from home for work or vacation and wants to go directly to be with you. Wanting to be around you just to see you is a huge sign he loves you. [Read: 14 signs your man really misses you]

#10 He wants you to get to know his friends and family. It may even be more of a sign he loves you if he wants you to meet his friends than if he introduces you to his family. A guy’s friends are like his deal breaker. If they hate you and you’re not into them, it can be a bigger issue than if his family isn’t fond of you.

And when he wants you to get to know them, it means he wants you to be in his life for a long time. It means he loves you.

[Read: 20 sure signs that he’s definitely in love with you]

Guys can be really hard to read when it comes to their feelings. With these tips, it shows you how to know if he loves you by the little things he does that you just overlook.

The post How to Know if He Loves You: 10 Giveaways to Prove His Feelings is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Be an Asshole: 70 Key Ingredients of Assholious Maximus

Knowing how to be an asshole comes more naturally to some than others. If you practice these 70 horrible behaviors, you will be at least half way to asshole.

What is an asshole? Unlike other words in the English language, asshole doesn’t have any Greek or Latin roots, like assholious maximus. Nope, an asshole is called one because it is the foulest part of one’s body. If you want to know how to be an asshole, then you probably aren’t one.

The way to knowing how to be an asshole is to not give a shit about anyone or anyone else’s feelings but one’s own. A super easy way to live, you say what you want, do what you want, and walk all over people = definition, asshole.

If you are like me, walking around trying not to offend anyone, hurt anyone’s feelings, and help old ladies with groceries into their cars, the art of knowing how to be an asshole isn’t going to come without some hard work on your part.

How to be an asshole fast – 70 little ways to go to Assholious Maximus

If, however, you tire of being stepped on, ignored, passed over, looked past, or generally the butt of some other asshole’s jokes, these are the key ingredients to said assholious maximus.

#1 Say whatever you feel like saying. [Read: 30 wild ways to be a bitch and an asshole]

#2 Make fun of the disabled, the poor, the homeless, anyone who is less than you.

#3 Treat everyone like they are less than you.

#4 Take the last piece of everything without asking.

#5 See someone down and kick them again just for kicks. 30 traits that make someone a really shallow person[Read: ]

#6 Cut everyone off and get there fast.

#7 Don’t replace the toilet paper. The next person is on their own.

#8 “Borrow” things without ever intending to return them.

#9 Always forget your wallet. Hey, you’ve got it next time.

#10 Leave without someone. If they run late, f*ck them.

#11 Ghost someone just ‘cause you can. [Read: 12 ways to disappear quickly and get away clean]

#12 Steal someone’s significant other.

#13 Always make fun of the least person in the group.

#14 Point out everyone’s faults, like right out in public.

#15 Use your vape pen anywhere you want… it is just vapor, right?

#16 Make fun of someone’s mom.

#17 Always leave the car on empty.

#18 Puddle splash people on the curb… it is so funny to watch their faces, isn’t it?

#19 Go like 20 miles under the speed limit, no one is going to rush you!

#20 Slam on your brakes at high speeds because someone drives too close.

#21 Empty the milk or orange juice carton and put it back. [Read: 10 simple tips to avoid being rude in any situation]

#22 Say you don’t want to go somewhere and then bitch about not being invited.

#23 Use social media as your own personal roast fest.

#24 Tell someone their new girlfriend is fugly.

#25 Borrow someone’s shoes and don’t wear socks.

#26 Do something super destructive while a friend is passed out drunk, like permanent inking or shaving them.

#27 Overstay your welcome at someone’s house by like months. [Read: 10 surefire ways to be the best houseguest ever]

#28 Think that wherever you undress is where your clothes should stay until someone else cleans them up.

#29 Don’t close up the cheese before you put it in the refrigerator.

#30 Make a sandwich in the middle of the night and leave everything out to spoil.

#31 Ash your cigarettes anywhere you feel like it.

#32 Make sure to get your “friend” overserved on their bachelor’s party, so they get in a whole lot of trouble or end up single.

#33 Don’t text someone back. You’re too busy for that nonsense.

#34 Always have to one up everyone, like everyone.

#35 Never send your kids with any money when other parents take them to fun events… don’t even offer!

#36 When you bump into someone, don’t you dare ever say “sorry” or “excuse me.”

#37 Always put your own needs above others, like always and no matter who, you come first, baby. [Read: The friend code all BFFs must follow]

#38 Take the last cold beer.

#39 Use up all the hot water by taking hour showers or filling the bathtub when you know that your roommates have to be at work too.

#40 When you get into trouble just tell everyone your name is your best friend’s name.

#41 Drop your kids and say you’ll be right back and not come back until after midnight.

#42 Pee all over the seat, who cares who sits in your bodily fluids, that is on them.

#43 Never go down on the person who goes down on you.

#44 Someone else flies while they buy, thanks, dude!

#45 When someone tells you they love you, you say “thank you.”

#46 Pee in the hot tub when the bathroom’s around the corner.

#47 Don’t wipe down the fitness equipment even when supplied cleaner.

#48 As a girl, you know girls are waiting in line for the bathroom, you take the time to do your makeup, clean your face, check your profile and wait out the time… while leaving pee on the seat behind you.

#49 Speed up to get an empty parking space knowing someone waited forever.

#50 Leave you shopping cart next to your car. When someone else pulls into the same space, they scratch the hell out of their car door, even if the cart return is two spaces down.

#51 Sneak in front of someone on the elevator. You’re in a hurry, they have time to wait. [Read: 10 signs you’re stuck in a karmic smackdown]

#52 Mix shoe boxes with two different sizes because your feet are one size apart. Sorry, next client.

#53 Steal someone’s phone charger, they probably have another one.

#54 Steal a funny t-shirt from someone else. They won’t notice, right?

#55 You can’t just sit down and enjoy the go, you must maneuver yourself by hovering over the toilet seat. Guess what, you can’t get shit off a seat, so sit down and relax, so I don’t have to wear your urine all night long.

#56 Steal all the batteries out of the remotes to use for your video game controllers.

#57 Screw the top off of the salt shaker at the restaurant, nothing funnier than making someone’s dish super salty.

#58 Leave a two percent tip because you drank too much and didn’t have the cash.

#59 Buy something at the store, take what you need out of the box, and then return it without saying a word, so someone else is left without what they need.

#60 Tape someone at their most embarrassing moment and then post it to social media. [Read: The dangers of social media]

#61 Chastise everyone in your life because you have finally gone on a diet… be an extra asshole and count their calories for them.

#62 Make someone carry a chain to go to the bathroom…. yep, thanks gas stations owners. If you didn’t lock the door, we would all be fine.

#63 Never take responsibility for your child’s behavior. They are always perfect.

#64 Send nasty grams instead of just saying “I’m mad.”

#65 Be passive aggressive, be-e-e passive aggressive.

#66 Say you can’t chip in for something and then come home with a new toy for yourself.

#67 Try on someone’s pants and ask… what the hell size are these? XXL! Then hold them out like a weight loss commercial.

#68 When you walk in a room, only acknowledge your besties, the rest are insignificant anyway.

#69 Ask how old someone is and when they answer say “no way, you are way older than that.” [Read: 10 questions that reveal the narcissist in you]

#70 Ask someone out on a date and expect them to pay for the pleasure of being with you.

Being an asshole is not something that you just happen upon. It is fostered and practiced and perfected. If you want to know how to be an asshole, the truth is that you probably are at times and don’t know it.

[Read: How to release anger and focus on the positives in life]

Some people walk through life narcissistic and asshole-ish. You don’t want to be them, trust me. You can be less kind if you want, but it probably won’t make you happier. If you ask how to be an asshole, you aren’t one, so stop trying to be one.

The post How to Be an Asshole: 70 Key Ingredients of Assholious Maximus is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Hit on a Guy so He Can Read Your Hints and Make a Move

The truth is that hitting on guys is actually quite difficult. Most of the time, they can’t even tell. Here’s how to hit on a guy so he’ll understand.

When you’re out and about and see a hot guy you like, you probably walk up to him and hit on him. Then you feel disappointed when he brushes it off and your self-esteem takes a hit. You know the funny thing about all of this? Guys usually just have no idea you’re hitting on them. Which is why you need to learn how to hit on a guy in a way that he’ll understand.

Why guys have a hard time knowing when a woman is hitting on them

Honestly, it’s mostly because they just don’t believe it. In their mind, they’re the ones who are supposed to be hitting on you. It’s hard for them to believe a woman would walk up to them and start engaging in a conversation simply because she’s attracted to him.

Those types of guys are usually the good ones simply because they’re not full of themselves. They know that a woman talking to them doesn’t equate to attraction so when a woman really does find them attractive, it’s a little hard to believe. [Read: 15 sweet ways to tell a guy you like him and win him over]

How to hit on a guy so he’ll understand that you’re into him

There are a lot of missed opportunities when women hit on men who have no idea that’s what they’re doing. Guys don’t overanalyze everything a woman does. Therefore, he probably doesn’t really think of the exchange you had as you being into him.

If you want to know how to hit on guys in a way that’ll actually show him your level of interest, you’ve come to the right place. Here are our tips for showing a guy you like him while you’re hitting on him.

#1 Smile a lot. Smiling is universally seen as a positive thing. You don’t go around smiling at people you dislike or don’t want to talk to. Usually, guys will be able to tell, at the very least, that you’re enjoying talking to them.

But sometimes you need to take it a step further. And by that, I mean you really need to be smiling and happy around him. If he sees how excited and happy being around him makes you, he’ll start to think that you might actually like him. [Read: 6 baby steps to learn to smile more]

#2 Initiate physical contact. There are some people who are generally more touchy-feely than others. Their touches don’t usually mean anything significant. However, for most people, physical touches mean you feel close and comfortable with someone.

And if you’re already touching a stranger’s arm and bumping shoulders with him, it’ll send a pretty clear message that you’re interested. Just make sure not to go overboard because that might seem a little too desperate.

#3 Give him a compliment about his looks. Guys aren’t always super clueless. In fact, if you tell him how great he looks, he’ll probably get the hint that you like him. The problem with this is that it can be tricky to do and girls don’t often have the guts for it.

Saying something simple like, “Hey good lookin’,” is more than enough to get the wheels spinning in his head. He’ll understand you like him. [Read: Compliments guys want to hear more often]

#4 Talk about getting together “sometime.” This is a line guys usually use on women but it definitely works on them too. If you’ve been talking for a little while and you’re not sure he’s picking up your hints, tell him the two of you should go do something together.

Make sure you say it in a way that suggests it’s a date. Otherwise, they may just think you’re inviting them to a group event or something that doesn’t show you like them.

#5 Be overly flirting. I’m not really one for condoning exaggeration, but in the case of learning how to hit on a guy, I’ll make an exception. Since guys have a hard time knowing whether or not you’re actually flirting and not just being nice, make it super obvious.

Seriously, you can even wink at him if all else fails. If he still doesn’t pick up on the fact that you’re being flirty after that, hope might just be lost for him. [Read: 15 obvious signs of flirting between guys and girls]

#6 Avoid subtleties. The time for subtleties is NOT when you’re trying to pick up a guy. Hitting on guys requires you to be obvious. And although you don’t want to throw yourself at him, you also can’t expect that you just saying hello is enough to make him realize you’re into him.

Try being upfront and obvious with the things you do. If you’re giving him a compliment, make it obvious that’s what you’re doing. He’ll pick up on all those hints and maybe he’ll even make a move.

#7 Ask him about his life. Asking someone deeper, more personal questions is a surefire way to get them thinking about you in a romantic way. Plus, when they realize you actually want to get to know them on that level, they’ll pick up on the fact that you’re hitting on them.

#8 Tell him he’s funny. Guys love making girls laugh. That’s especially true when it’s a woman he also likes. If you really want to make him think about you in a romantic way, tell him he’s funny.

Hitting on him in this way appeals to his ego. Guys like to be funny and be the person to make you laugh. When you bring light to that, he’ll start seeing you in a more intimate way. [Read: 20 fun compliments your man will be dying to hear]

#9 Approach him first. Who says women have to wait for guys to approach? If you see a guy you think is attractive, go up to him. Approach him and introduce yourself. Hell, you can drop more than one hint at a time just by saying, “Hey good lookin’,” as you introduce yourself.

The fact that you approached him and called him attractive should make him realize how you feel. You can even take it a step further and touch his arm. All of those will almost guarantee that he understands you’re hitting on him. [Read: How to approach a guy you like and remain calm all the way]

#10 Tell him you like him. If for some reason a guy is so clueless he still hasn’t picked up on the fact that you like him, just tell him. Come right out and say it. It doesn’t have to be anything complex or complicated.

Just say something like, “I like you. Let’s get together sometime,” will make him realize it for sure. You can even flat out ask him to go on a date right then and there. Truthfully, guys like this approach way more than any of the others ones.

[Read: 12 signs it’s time to tell him you like him]

Some guys can just be clueless. If you want to make him yours, you’ll first have to figure out how to hit on a guy in a way he’ll actually understand. These tips can help him realize your true feelings.

The post How to Hit on a Guy so He Can Read Your Hints and Make a Move is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Talk Dirty to a Woman: Arouse Her without Creeping Her Out

Talking dirty isn’t just about throwing out a few bad words. Learn how to talk dirty to a woman the right way and blow her mind.

We all know that talking dirty is a good way to grease the panties off a girl, but are you certain that you’re doing it right? Knowing how to talk dirty to a woman is more than the usual “I’m gonna rip off those clothes and f*ck the lights out of you,” she might end up fleeing for sanctuary instead of you seducing her.

As you can see, talking dirty can be considered a fine art. And women like their dirty talk the way they like porn: slow, sexy, and with lots of foreplay. Talking dirty to turn her on is about narrating her fantasies to her in that low, bedroom voice. So time to ditch the aggressive and plain sex threats and learn dirty talking the right way.

How to talk dirty to a woman – Good and bad dirty talk

The term “dirty talk” entails that it is far from polite, but it doesn’t mean that it has to be crude and harsh to get the intended effect. Ideally, it should be well-balanced and the words carefully chosen to suit the mood and sexual taste of the recipient. As mentioned, going for aggressive and straightforward will not always work and may lead to an awkward and brief encounter.

Poor dirty talk. Akin to a movie line delivered poorly that makes watching it painful and embarrassing. What’s worse is that it might make you sound like a creep rather than a seducing Casanova. It’s not that the phrase is bad, but it is mostly dirty talk done out of character.

If watching a movie with bad acting makes you cringe, poorly delivered dirty talk can be imagined as something counter erotic. So please, if you think you’re not up for it, don’t even bother attempt doing it. [Read: 25 sex questions to ask a girl and leave her instantly wet]

Aggressive dirty talk.  We’re most familiar with this type and the one you would usually hear from porn. It may work on some and it may work once, but sticking to this type eventually makes it boring as it loses its sexy quality if overused. Its main weakness is that it tends to put off girls who are not fans of this type of dirty talk. [Read: 14 wild ways to have aggressive sex the right way]

Good dirty talk. This is the most effective type, yet it is also the one most difficult to pull off. In order to talk dirty with favorable effects, you need to take it slow, read the mood, and adjust your exchanges according to the way she reacts to your dirty talk. It’s that hard. We did mention that talking dirty is an art, didn’t we?

How to talk dirty to a woman – The basic guidelines

#1 Own your words. Say it like you mean it. Or better yet, say it like how you would say it. As mentioned, an attempt at talking dirty fails if done out of character.

If you’re going to ask her if she likes to get touched in someplace, say it confidently and convincingly in your best way possible. If sexually ravenous and not the usual naughty is your game, add that flavor to your dirty talk. Not only you would say it easily, but it would be consistent to your character. [Read: How to talk dirty in bed – Dirty talking examples to show you the way]

#2 Don’t overact. Adding unnecessary moans, groans, growls, and grunts can spoil the dirty talk prematurely. So keep it natural in its delivery. Add a little idiosyncratic sexy flair to it at some point, but doing that stuff at all times makes you sound like you’re only performing.

#3 Lay in some groundwork. Make her feel comfortable. Dirty talk doesn’t usually happen at the first line, the best and most enjoyable ones start with normal and innocent conversation. It won’t hurt to start by asking her how she is, what she’s wearing, or when was the last time she had sex.

Well, maybe not the last one, but the idea is not to come in the scene guns blazing. Remember, talking dirty is foreplay: you need to take it slow. [Read: 10 foreplay moves every guy needs to do to their ladies]

#4 Do some research. What does she like? What are her fantasies? Does she like it aggressive or gentle? These are the important questions you need to ask yourself in order to get information that structures  your naughty conversation.

So, how are you going to get these? Get creative. There are a lot of sources for what she likes: her social media profile, previous sexual encounters, the erotica she consumes, or you could ask her straight up.

#5 Start with questions. Starting dirty talk with a question is usually the best way to get it going smoothly, especially if you’re a beginner.

First, there is a sexy quality to asking a girl naughty questions. It shows her that you are interested in her naughtier side and feeds on her imagination as well. Second, asking questions is a good way to snatch tiny bits of information that will help you steer the direction of the conversation. [Read: 20 dirty questions to ask a girl and make her wet]

#6 Play into her fantasies. Once you’ve got sufficient information about her kinks and sexual tastes, it is time to use this information to weave a filthy narrative where the ending is that you’re both naked and wrapped around each other.

At this part, you need to muster a little bit of storytelling and direction in order to delve further into her dirtiest fantasies. Who knows, your sexy Q & A may reveal other dirty secrets that she’s keeping. [Read: 12 arousing sex fantasies to try in real life]

#7 Add other stimuli to dirty talk. Women are creatures of imagination, so if you want to know how to talk dirty to a woman the right way, keeping this in mind is the best way to turn her on into a raging sexual fire.

So what else can you do to make her imagination more vivid? Add sensory stimuli to your dirty talk. Since it’s your mouth doing all the talking, both your hands are free to grasp a vibrator, dildo, or a piece of silk cord to run through an unsuspecting part of her body as you whisper filthy stuff in her ear. Or, something that all girls fall for, punctuate your whispers with a playful nibble of her earlobes.

#8 Be mindful of her responses. Even the kinkiest of girls have a limit too. So try to draw a line first and then try if you can go further. If she hesitates to respond or responds negatively, then revert back to a safe zone where she’s more comfortable. It never hurts to apologize too. [Read: 10 secret pleasure zones to arouse any woman instantly]

#9 Where to dirty talk? Based on difficulty level, it is more easy to talk dirty via chat or text since you’ll have more time to think your words through before sending it. On the other hand, doing it in person is more challenging and requires you to be in character most of the time.

However, doing it face to face has the benefit of the immediate chance for things to escalate sexually. Simply said, it doesn’t matter. Choose wherever you’re most comfortable. [Read: 20 things you can do to get your woman totally in the mood]

#10 Whisper it near her ear. When talking dirty, nothing beats slamming it in the home court. Whispering it really soft and slow surely makes her hairs and nipples prickle with anticipation.

[Read: How to talk dirty to a girl and not turn her off]

Knowing how to talk dirty to a woman requires a lot of work just like any form of foreplay. It requires you to be gentle and not overly aggressive. It also requires a little bit of creativity. But most importantly, one must be sensitive to her fantasies and her desires.

The post How to Talk Dirty to a Woman: Arouse Her without Creeping Her Out is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Unlove Someone: 14 Powerful Ways to Conquer the Impossible

Love, of course, is an amazing feeling to experience. But when things go bad, knowing how to unlove someone isn’t as simple as eating a bucket of ice cream.

Everyone wants to experience the feeling of falling in love. It’s one of the most beautiful feelings to experience. You’re vulnerable. You emotionally give yourself to someone. It’s when you’re at your happiest. But, with everything, there’s a downside. You can’t ride the high forever, and even if you’re in love, there’s a chance they’re not. I’m not trying to scare you, but sometimes we have to learn how to unlove someone.

How to unloved someone – The little steps that make a big difference

I’ve made the love risk a couple times and ended up eating shit. Being rejected isn’t fun, spending your nights crying and rewinding the situation in your head isn’t a good time. But it’s something many of us will experience. Don’t take it as something negative—it’s life.

Though I must admit, there have been some guys who have scared me more than others, some that really traumatized me. It took me much longer to get over them and maybe I’m still not fully over them. However, I’m not awake at night thinking about it… anymore. So learning how to unlove someone is not easy, but it’s possible.

#1 Realize it’s not about unloving them. Maybe unloving is the wrong word, but it’s not about not loving them. If you truly love someone, you will always love them. This is more about accepting the fact that a relationship between you two is not possible right now. I don’t know if you’ll get back together or not, but you can’t wait for them. This is about learning to let go. [Read: When you should stop loving someone]

#2 Accept it. If you want to know how to unloved someone, you need to accept the fact that this isn’t going to happen. The relationship, yeah, it ain’t working out. I know you want to try as hard as you can to keep things together or to make someone be with you, but you can’t do that. It fails that way. Accept the fact that it’s over. It’s hard, but this is something you need to do. [Read: Loving someone you can’t have – 15 ways to handle the pain]

#3 Cut contact. If you want to get over someone, stop contacting them or have them stop contacting you. When I was trying to get over my ex, he constantly called me which didn’t help. I thought we could be friends but not right away, it doesn’t work.

You need at least a minimum of three months without contact in order to grieve on your own, in private. Tell them that you need your space and they should respect it. If they don’t respect your space, then they don’t truly love you. Red flag, people! [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works]

#4 Don’t rebound. Listen, I know this is a popular way to get over someone, but if you have a boyfriend the next day, you’re not actually allowing yourself time to get over the other person.

How can you grieve someone when you’re already making out with someone else? Learning how to unlove someone doesn’t work like that. You need time on your own to process your emotions. If you rush into a new relationship, you’re not being honest with yourself or this new person. Don’t rebound because you’re scared to be alone with your thoughts, embrace them.

#5 Give yourself time. I know there are equations to help you figure out how long you’re going to be sad after you remove someone out of your life. The equations are crap. Listen, your emotions cannot be measured by a math equation. Everyone is different.

Some people may take weeks, some months, and others take years. Does it mean you’re less of a person because it takes you a year to get over someone? No. I’m still getting over the last guy I dated—we were together for three weeks and that was a year ago. There’s no time limit. [Read: How long does it take to get over someone? The magic number]

#6 Focus on yourself. I know everyone tells you, “focus on you.” Though you nod your head to their advice at the same time, you’re probably like, “What the f*ck does that mean?” I get it. But they’re right.

What they mean is that you need to do things that make you happy. Focus on doing things that provide you joy. Now’s the time to grow into your own person. Remember you liked painting? Remember how you loved to ride your bike along the riverside? Do it and do it now. [Read: How to be happy again and draw happiness from within]

#7 Get them off of your social media. This is the hardest thing to do. I unfollowed my ex from all social media and believe me, it was like I deleted him out of my life, removing him from my memory. Which in a way, is kind of what you’re doing.

But don’t think of it like that, you need to look at it as a need to move on. How can you move on if you cyberstalk them?

#8 Don’t only think about the good times. I know you’re going to replay the good moments you had with them in your head over and over. Trust me, I’m like a broken record when I’m trying to get over someone.

I analyze every single thing they ever said, the look in their eyes—all that crap. This is normal and I’m not going to tell you not to do it. If you do it, it’s okay. But you need to remind yourself of how that person really made you feel outside of those beautiful moments. Keep those memories close to you because the moments you had with that person weren’t always happy. [Read: How to get over someone you really love – 14 steps to get there fast]

#9 Talk to a professional. I’m saying this because although I think your friends and family can provide you with support, they’re probably tired of listening to this story. No offense.

I remember the glazed look in my friend’s eyes when I retold the story for the 80th time. They won’t always be able to give you the help you need. Talking to a therapist is a great way to help process things in your mind. Plus, they give you the bird’s eye view that you need.

#10 Alone time is good, but to a limit. It’s good to be alone when you’re dealing with your emotions. You need that personal time to yourself so I’m pro-alone time. However, if you’re no longer seeing your friends then this is when it becomes a problem.

You need to make sure you allocate a certain amount of time a week to seeing your support group, AKA, your friends and family. They’ll help you laugh and put you in good spirits.

#11 Meet new people. They don’t have to be people you want to sleep with, this isn’t what I mean. Though, you should be meeting new people in general. I know this person took up a lot of your time, I know you invested your free time with them.

Now that they’re not around, you need to fill that time up with positive people. Go out with your friends, take new classes, and meet people through that. Basically, you need to surround yourself with people who enjoy the same things as you do. [Read: How to make new friends as an adult]

#12 Give yourself a makeover. I know it sounds a little PG-13, but it’s true. Go get your hair cut and colored, get your nails done, get a new outfit. I don’t care what it is, but do something that boosts your self-esteem and makes you feel how you used to feel.

Though you’re grieving over someone, this doesn’t mean make yourself feel worthless. It didn’t work out with this person, but it will work out with someone else. [Read: When you miss someone – 20 mind tricks to stop missing the wrong person]

#13 Get away from it. Now, you don’t have to do a worldwide trip, I mean, you can, I’m not saying it’s bad. But you can also do a weekend getaway. Basically, remove yourself from the environment. Sitting at home all day and night watching romance films isn’t going to do it.

Get yourself out of the environment which reminds you of that person. This helps you clear your head and gain some perspective on the situation. [Read: 12 inspiring travel destinations for soul searching]

#14 What were the problems in the relationship? When you’ve spent some time grieving, it’s time to look at the issues that were in the relationship. It’s a two-way street. There are going to be things you did that you should admit to.

Sure, you two had a lot in common, but you need to see what went wrong. This way, you can use this information and acceptance for self-growth and your next relationship.

[Read: Breaking up with someone you love: 20 right reasons to walk away]

Learning how to unlove someone isn’t easy, and it’s not going to happen overnight. Don’t try to rush through your emotions though, you’ll move on when you’re ready.

The post How to Unlove Someone: 14 Powerful Ways to Conquer the Impossible is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Feeling Worthless? 8 Daily Habits to Change Your Mind and Life

We all have times when we can’t help feeling worthless. If you are stuck in a worth-rut, picking yourself out takes the discipline of continual small changes.

Feeling worthless. Hmm. Well, it isn’t difficult to dissect it. Feel worth-less. The question you should stop to ask yourself when you say something like “less” is what is more. If you are feeling worthless, then examine what it is that is worth more than you feel.

What exactly is it that you don’t have enough of? If it is self-worth, then figure out what it is that you define yourself by.

Feeling worthless? Here’s what can help

Many of us feel less than at points during our lives like when things don’t go our way, we didn’t accomplish the goals we set out, or we generally aren’t who we want or had hoped to be. But, if your feelings of worthlessness are perpetuating and long standing, then it might warrant a step back. Examine why you aren’t happy with who you are or where you are in life.

Sometimes it just takes continual incremental change to break yourself out of the rut making you feel worthless. Like a black hole, digging yourself out may seem like an enormous task, but it doesn’t have to be. You aren’t going to wake up one day with the feelings behind you and magically well-adjusted.

But, you can wake each day with one small accomplishment that makes you feel successful. With each success, it gives you the boost you need to attempt the next, and so on. One day you rise and realize life is what you want. All you hoped you would be, you are. [Read: 16 steps to feel better about transform your life]

#1 Make your bed. I know, sounds stupid, right? If you wake every morning and the first thing you do is make your bed, then by the time you complete your first cup of coffee, you are already ahead of the game and have something in your pocket to make you feel successful for the rest of the day.

A theory introduced decades ago by a naval officer by the name of McGraven, each small step you make creates big change. The easiest place to start is by starting your day making a difference to keep you wanting more. [Read: 20 habits of incredibly happy people]

#2 Take a negative comment and find the silver lining. It is easy to hear things differently than they are said when you feel worthless. The next time someone says something to you that you feel sounds degrading or worthless, find the silver lining in it.

Likely, there is a lesson to be learned in the next negative thing you hear and make it a positive. Perhaps your negativity perpetrates your feelings of worthlessness. So, stop hearing messages as only negative, and even if they are, challenge yourself to do better next time instead of letting constructive, or otherwise, criticism, beat you down. [Read: Backhanded compliment: How to react kindly or give back in kind]

#3 Set smaller and more attainable goals for yourself. Sometimes it is easy to beat up on yourself for not being where you want to be or achieving the things that you had hoped you would. But, that is also a symptom of setting your expectations too high and setting yourself up for failure.

If you want to stop feeling worthless, then give yourself a break. Instead of feeling like you must have the corner office by the age of twenty-five, make smaller attainable goals that you reach every day.

Whether at work or in your personal life, stop looking for the big cash in or payday and be happy with the smaller victories that get you where you want eventually. Sure, it might not be as quickly as you want. But give yourself a little breathing room, and you might find that it isn’t always about the joy of the end of the destination but the smaller things that make you happy along the way. [Read: How to start over and win – 12 keys to claiming your second chance]

#4 Stop being your worst critic. If you tend to beat up on yourself, that isn’t helping you at all. It is not only okay to make mistakes; it is essential to learning where you want to be in life and how to get there.

Stop being harder on yourself than others are on you and expecting perfection when it isn’t possible. Look at the good things you offer instead of focusing on all your mistakes or misgivings. What you might see, is how you make yourself feel worthless without reason.

#5 Start to eliminate those people in your life who keep you down. Take a good look at the people who you surround yourself with. Do they foster your good feelings or do they put you down? If you are encased in negativity, by the laws of attraction, by continuing to be around them, you attract negativity.

Find people who look on the bright side and are there to point out your positives instead of knocking your not so greats. There will always be someone available to make you feel worthless, that is just life. But, why surround yourself with people who can’t see what gifts you have? Look for those who help you shine instead of squashing your light. [Read: The 10 biggest signs to watch out for in toxic friends]

#6 Let go of the past. So you screwed up a few times in your past. News flash, we all have. There isn’t a person walking on this earth who hasn’t made ample mistakes in their past. Whatever you did before this moment, has nothing to do with what you do going forward.

The most enlightening thing in life is when you realize that not just each new day, but each new moment, you have the potential to start anew and to make the best of the rest of your life. Like a continual do-over, you have the power to change your life from inside out if that is what you set your mind to and want for yourself. [Read: How to let go of your past and be excited by your future]

#7 Do one thing a day that makes you feel good about you. Whether it is helping an elderly person with their groceries or cutting your neighbor’s lawn when you already have the mower out, doing one small act of kindness a day, helps stave away your feelings of worthlessness.

Human nature built into our bodies little boosts of good feelings that are released when we perform acts of kindness. These endorphins help to change your outlook not just on life, but on yourself. It truly just takes one small favor for someone else to alter your entire day, and if you do them continually, it changes your life overall. [Read: 20 positive ways to create a chain of goodwill]

#8 Decide for yourself who you are. When we feel worthless, it is because we look for others to tell us who we are. That is a road to emptiness. You have to know who and what you are on the inside instead of letting others define you for you.

Stop listening to the incoming messages that cloud your self-perception and start to take stock of who you really are, what you believe, and the goodness in your heart. If you care enough to feel worthless, then you are someone who is concerned with who you are. That is half the battle. [Read: How to be your own hero and take control of life]

You aren’t a selfish person who goes through life patting yourself on the back, but rather are concerned about who you are to those around you. That is both a positive and a negative. Figure out for yourself who you are and stop listening to how other people define you.

Feeling worthless is not a good feeling. There isn’t a soul on this earth who is worthless unless they choose to be. Unfortunately, the only one who shakes your feelings of worthlessness is you. The good news is that turning it around is as easy as making continual incremental changes on a daily basis to turn your world around.

[Read: How to make happiness your default state]

It might not happen overnight, but if you take steps to alter your life, one day you will wake up and realize that your feeling worthless has gone away to be replaced by joy.

The post Feeling Worthless? 8 Daily Habits to Change Your Mind and Life is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.